4/1/01:

Well screwed was a boy named Delpasse

By all of the lads in his class.

But he said with a yawn,

"Now the novelty's gone,

And it's only a pain in my ass"

Contributed by
Don H.

4/2/01:

A young bodybuilder named Rex

Bought two bras to support his huge pecs.

Wore the 48B

When he let them hang free,

And a black one with D-cups to flex.

Contributed by
Theresa V.

4/3/01:

Here I lie just me and my "comics"

Having finished one of many gin and tonics.

Alone once agin,

And randy as sin

Thank God for plastics and electronics!

Contributed by
D. Graham

4/4/01:

A mannerly fellow named Phyfe

Was greatly distressed by his wife,

For whene'er she was able

She'd shit on the table,

And gobble the shit---with her knife!

1944

4/5/01:

A well endowed fellow named Miller

Who, while fucking his wife, might just kill her.

She'd make him hold back

From a full dick attack,

But from three feet away, he'd still fill her.

Contributed by
Tom

4/6/01:

There was a young lady, and what do you think?

She said, "I care nought for a prick that don't stink,

And I think that a fuck

Ain't so good as a suck

When you've pulled back the foreskin and uncovered the pink."

1870

4/7/01:

A licentious old justice of Salem

Used to catch all the harlots and jail 'em.

But instead of a fine

He would stand them in line,

With his common-law tool to impale 'em.

1941

4/8/01:

There was an old girl of Silesia

Who said, "As my cunt doesn't please ya,

You might as well come

Up my slimy old bum,

But be careful my tapeworm don't seize ya."

1927

4/9/01:

There was a young lady named Perkin

Who swallowed an extra-large gherkin.

Now she doesn't spend much

On kotex and such,

On account of her drain isn't workin'.

1941

4/10/01:

The eminent Mrs. DeVue

Was born in a cage at the zoo,

And the curious rape

Which made her an ape

Is highly fantastic, if true.

1945

4/11/01:

There once was a sprightly old leprechaun

Who thought his cock's get up had gone.

Until he met big young Jack

Who gave him his go back,

In the back of the bar, by the john.

Contributed by
Savannah S.

4/12/01:

An oversexed woman named Jade

Spread her legs to insert a grenade.

In an endless orgasm,

Her cunt was in spasm,

When found the next day in Belgrade.

Contributed by
Theresa V.

4/13/01:

As a beauty, I'm not a great star.

There are others much fairer, by far.

But my face, I don't mind it,

Because I'm behind it:

It's the folks in the front that I jar.

Contributed by
Silvius

4/14/01:

T'was a girl named Laura McTore,

Who was world renowned as a whore.

Her breasts were runts,

But she had fifteen cunts,

She could service a whole team and more.

Contributed by
Dave G.

4/15/01:

There was a young girl of Ostend

Who her maidenhead tried to defend,

But a Chasseur d' Afrique

Inserted his prick

And taught that ex-maid how to spend.

1879

4/16/01:

There once was a fellow named Hatch

Who preferred eating snatch with no thatch.

So he shaved off her pubes

Before licking her tubes,

And when asked if the liked it said, "Natch!"

Contributed by
Tom

4/17/01:

There was a faith-healer of Deal

Who said, "Although pain isn't real,

When, frightened by chance,

I unload in my pants,

I dislike what I fancy I feel."

1941

4/18/01:

A randy WAC sergeant named Flynn

Shoved a hand grenade all the way in.

Flaming bits of her cunt

Killed two Krauts at the front,

While her garter belt fell on Berlin.

Contributed by
Theresa V.

4/19/01:

There was an old fellow of Brest

Who sucked off his wife with a zest.

Despite her great howls

He sucked out her bowels,

And spat them all over her chest.

1927

4/20/01:

Said a girl to her friend from Milpitas,

"There's a doctor in town who will treat us

For feminine ills

And hot and cold chills,

Or even abort a young fetus."

1945

4/21/01:

There once was an innocent miss

Who feared she'd conceived from a kiss.

So, as a precaution,

She had an abortion,

But naught was forthcoming but piss.

1941

4/22/01:

That Harvard don down at El Djim---

Oh, wasn't it nasty of him,

With the whole hareem randy,

The sheik himself handy,

To muss up a young camel's quim?

1942

4/23/01:

When Theocritus guarded his flock

He piped in the shade of a rock.

It is said that his Muse

Was one of the ewes

With a bum like a pink hollyhock.

1942

4/24/01:

There were two little mice in Rangoon

Who sought lunch in an old lady's womb.

Cried one mouse, "By Jesus,

I'll wager this cheese is

As old as the cheese in the moon!"

1941

4/25/01:

While pissing on deck, an old boatswain

Fell asleep, and his pisser got frozen.

It snapped at the shank,

And it fell off and sank

In the sea---'twas his own fault for dozin'.

1941

4/26/01:

A young bio-chemist named Dan

Always followed his nose to the can.

He judged people best

By the urinal test,

As to race and to sex and to clan.

1941

4/27/01:

There was a young man of Penzance

Who rogered his three maiden aunts.

Though them he defiled,

He ne'er got them with child,

Through using the letters of France.

1870

4/28/01:

There was a young man, Mussolini,

Who found he had seven bambini.

He said, "If I thought

That the griddle was hot,

I'd never have put in the weenie!"

1946

4/29/01:

There was an old person of Delhi

Awoke with a pain in his belly,

And to cure it, 'tis said,

He shit in his bed,

Now the sheets are uncommonly smelly.

1870

4/30/01:

There was a young fellow from Yale

Whose face was exceedingly pale.

He spent his vacation

In self-masturbation

Because of the high price of tail.

1927