9/1/99:

Said an old-fashioned god named Anubis,

"I know about pubes and boobies,

But I've no impression

About the Eustachian,

Or where the Fallopian tube is."

1952

9/2/99:

There was an old hostler named Raines,

Possessed of more ballocks than brains.

He stood on a stool

To bugger a mule,

And got kicked in the balls for his pains.

1941

9/3/99:

There was a young man of Natal

And Sue was the name of his gal.

One day, north of Auden,

He got his hard rod in,

And came clear up Suez Canal.

1928

9/4/99:

A man of the bible once swore

An alien had come to his door.

He went to the sink

Where he had a quick drink

And then widdled all over the floor!

Contributed by
Rebecca

9/5/99:

A eunuch frequenting Bangkok

Used to borrow the deified jock

From a local rain-god

When he went for a prod---

You could hear the girl yell for a block.

1942

9/6/99:

There was an old man of Goditch,

Had the syph and the clap and the itch.

His name was McNabs

And he also had crabs,

The dirty old son of a bitch.

1927

9/7/99:

There was an old man of Connort

Whose prick was remarkably short.

When he got into bed

The old woman said,

"This isn't a prick, it's a wart."

1879

9/8/99:

There was a young man of St. Paul

Whose prick was exceedingly small.

He could bugger a bug

At the edge of a rug,

And the bug hardly felt it at all.

1927

9/9/99:

Three lustful young ladies of Simms

Were blessed with such over-size quims,

The bishop of the diocese

Got elephantiasis,

For his life wasn't all singing hymns.

1941

9/10/99:

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno

Once said, "There's one thing I do know:

A woman is fine,

And a sheep is divine,

But a llama is numero uno!"

Contributed by
Colin C.

9/11/99:

There was a young lady named Schneider

Who often kept trysts with a spider.

She found a strange bliss

In the hiss of her piss,

As it strained through the cobwebs inside her.

1941

9/12/99:

There was a young man of Cape Cod

Who once put my wife into pod.

His name it was Tucker

The dirty old fucker,

The bugger, the blighter, the sod!

1927

9/13/99:

Have you heard of the lady named Cox

Who had a capacious old box?

When her lover was in place

She said, "Please turn your face.

I look like a gal, but I screw like a fox."

1942

9/14/99:

There were two young men of Cawnpore

Who buggered and fucked the same whore

But the partition split

And the gism and shit

Tolled out in great lunps on the floor.

1928

9/15/99:

There was a young fellow from Boston

Who rode around in an Austin.

There was room for his ass

And a gallon of gas,

But his balls hung outside, and he lost 'em

1938

9/16/99:

There was a young girl in a cast

Who had an unsavory past,

For the neighborhood pastor

Tried fucking through plaster,

And his very first fuck was his last.

1948

9/17/99:

There was a young man from the War Office

Who got into bed with a whore of his.

She took off her drawers

With many a pause,

But the chap from the War Office tore off his.

1938

9/18/99:

Another young man, from Beirut

Played a penis as one might a flute,

Till he met a sad eunuch

Who lifted his tunic

And said, "Sir, my instrument's mute."

1947

9/19/99:

There was a young lady of Asia

Who had an odd kind of aphasia.

She'd forget that her cunt

Was located in front,

Which deprived her of most of the pleasure.

1949

9/20/99:

There was a young man of Glengarridge,

The fruit of a scrofulous marriage.

He sucked off his brother,

And buggered his mother,

And ate up his sister's miscarriage.

1934

9/21/99:

There was a young lady named Mable

Who would fuck on a bed or a table.

Though a two-dollar screw

Was the best she could do,

Her ass bore a ten-dollar label.

1944

9/22/99:

There once was a harlot at Yale

With her price-list tatooed on her tail,

And on her behind,

For the sake of the blind,

She had it embroidered in Braille.

1941

9/23/99:

There once was a versatile whore,

As expert behind as before.

For a quid you could view her,

And bugger and screw her,

As she stood on her head on the floor.

1941

9/24/99:

Though the girl had a number of zits,

I overlooked 'em because of her tits.

But her beauty was outer

And she made me a doubter

When my cock up inside 'er had fits.

Contributed by
Tom A.

9/25/99:

There was a young lady from Ipswich

Who had syphilis, pox, and the itch.

In her box she put pepper

And slept with a leper,

And ruined that son of a bitch.

1945

9/26/99:

There once was a lady of Crete

So enormously broad in the beam

That one day in the ocean

She caused such commotion

That Admiral Byrd claimed her for America.

1946

9/27/99:

There was an old man of Santander

Who attempted to bugger a gander.

But that virtuous bird

Plugged its ass with a turd,

And refused to such low tastes to pander.

1879

9/28/99:

There was a young man from Toulouse

Who thought he would diddle a goose.

He hunted and bunted

To get the thing cunted,

But decided it wasn't no use.

1879

9/29/99:

There was a young lady named Sheba,

Fell in love with an eager amoeba.

This queer bit of jelly

Crept into her belly,

And ecstatically murmured, "Ich liebe!"

1941

9/30/99:

There was a young man in Peru

Who had nothing whatever to do.

So he flew to the garret

And buggered the parrot.

And sent the result to the zoo.

1879