6/1/99:

There was a young man from the Coast

Who had an affair with a ghost.

At the height of orgasm

Said the pallid phantasm.

"I think I can feel it---almost!"

1942

6/2/99:

There was a young man of Saint Kitts

Who was very much troubled with fits.

After chewing a gal's cunt

He'd give a loud grunt

And try to bite off her two tits.

1946

6/3/99:

A young Nordic lass in Mombassa

Demanded a piece of hot ass-a,

But she flew in a rage

And locked her cunt in a cage

When they brought her King Haile Selassie.

1945

6/4/99:

There was a young man named Zerubbabub

Who belonged to the Block, Fuck & Bugger Club,

But the pride of his life

Were the tits of his wife---

One real, and one India-rubber bub.

1941

6/5/99:

A galactic patrolman from Venus

Had a hyper-extensible penis.

Of all forms of life

Which he'd taken to wife

He preferred a mere woman, from meanness.

1944

6/6/99:

Mr. Galsworthy rented a suite

In a building devoid of all heat.

So he fucked for three months

Sucked thirty-nine cunts,

Which solved his problem quite neat.

1946

6/7/99:

There was a young man from Toledo

Who was cursed with excessive libido.

To fuck and to screw,

And to fornicate too,

Were the three major points of his credo.

1939

6/8/99:

"For the tenth time, dull Daphnis, " said Chloe,

"You have told me my bosom is snowy;

You have made much fine verse on

Each part of my person,

Now do something---there's a good boy!"

1942

6/9/99:

Said the venerable Dean of St. Paul's

"Concerning them cracks in the walls---

Do you think it would do

If we filled them with glue?"

The Bishop of Lincoln said: "Balls!"

1928

6/10/99:

A flatulent nun of Hawaii

One Easter eve supped on papaya,

Then honored the Passover

By turning her ass over

And obliging with Handel's Messiah.

1944

6/11/99:

There was a young fellow named Blaine,

And he screwed some disgusting old jane.

She was ugly and smelly,

With an awful pot-belly.

But...well, they were caught in the rain.

1941

6/12/99:

There died an old man of Moldavia,

Well known for his bawdy behaviour.

When the priest thought him shriven,

And fitted for heaven,

He cried, "Go and bugger the Saviour!"

1870

6/13/99:

There was a young man from Racine

Who invented a fucking machine.

Concave or convex

It would fit either sex,

With attachments for those in between.

1927

6/14/99:

There was an old abbess quite shocked

To find nuns where the candles were locked.

Said the abbess, "You nuns

Should behave more like guns,

And never go off till you're cocked."

1941

6/15/99:

A caddy named Tommy the Tough

Had an heiress way out in the rough.

He said, "What a swell fuck!

Now let's you and me suck---

Or as you uppercrust say, 'Soixante-neuf'."

1948

6/16/99:

One morning Mahatma Gandhi

Had a hard-on, and it was a dandy.

So he said to his aide,

"Please bring me a maid,

Or a goat, or whatever is handy."

1941

6/17/99:

There was a young man of Belgravia

Who cared neither for God nor his Saviour.

He walked down the Strand

With his prick in his hand

And was jailed for indecent behavior.

1870

6/18/99:

Minnehaha was washing her clothes,

Unexpectant of sorrows or woes.

A snake, a side-winder,

Crawled in her behinder,

Wiggled 'round and came out of her nose.

1946

6/19/99:

There was a young man of Ostend

Whose wife caught him fucking her friend.

"It's no use, my duck,

Interrupting our fuck,

For I'm damned if I draw till I spend."

1879

6/20/99:

There was a young fellow named Klotz

Who went looking for tail in New Lots.

Of tail he found nary

A piece, but a fairy

Suggested he try some ersatz.

1942

6/21/99:

There was a young girlie named Hannah

Who loved madly her lover's banana.

She loved pubic hair

And balls that were bare,

And she jacked him off in her bandanna.

1942

6/22/99:

There was a young man named Royal

Whose ambition was to be a moyhel.

He worked and he toiled

But was finally foiled

When he tried it out on a goil.

1943

6/23/99:

There was a young soldier from Munich

Whose penis hung down past his tunic,

And their chops girls would lick,

When they thought of his prick,

But alas! he was only a eunuch.

1941

6/24/99:

An embalmer in ancient Karnak

Oozed it into a fresh corpse's crack.

Rigor mortis set in

And clamped off what had been

His pride, nor did he get it back.

1942

6/25/99:

The Mahatma on Mt. Himavat

Opined as he diddled a cat:

"She's a far better piece

Than the Viceroy's niece,

Who has also more fur on her prat."

1942

6/26/99:

When he tried to inject his huge whanger

A young man aroused his girl's anger.

As they strove in the dark

She was heard to remark,

"What you need is a zeppelin hangar."

1942

6/27/99:

There was an old man who said, "Tush!

My balls always hang in the brush,

And I fumble about,

Half in and half out,

With a pecker as limber as mush."

1941

6/28/99:

There was young man of Balbriggan

Who was fearfully given to frigging,

Till these nocturnal frolics

Played hell with his bollox,

And killed the young man of Balbriggan

1870

6/29/99:

There was a young man from Glenchasm

Who had a tremendous orgasm.

In the midst of his thralls

He burst both his balls

And covered an acre with plasm.

1943

6/30/99:

There was a young lady named Dowd

Whom a young fellow groped in the crowd.

But the thing that most vexed her

Was that when he stood next her

He said, "How's your cunt?" right out loud.

1941