11/1/98:

Remember those two of Aberystwyth

Who connected the things that they pissed with?

She sat on his lap

But they both had the clap,

And they cursed with the things that they kissed with.

1928

11/2/98:

There was a young girl from Seattle

Who got her kicks sucking off cattle,

'til a bull from the South

Popped a load in her mouth

That made both her ovaries rattle.

Contributed by
Mr T.

11/3/98:

There once was a gay young Parisian

Who came to an awful decision:

For his sexual joys

He'd have women and boys,

And snakes too---and no supervision!

1941

11/4/98:

That handsome young man is a Yalie,

And his lifestyle of preference is gay-ley.

But his ass is so tight,

That to fuck himsa fight.

So, his lover just masturbates daily.

Contributed by
a Princeton alum

11/5/98:

There once was a horny old bitch

With a motorized self-fucker which

She would use with delight

All day long and all night---

Twenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.

1941

11/6/98:

There was a young man of Eau Claire

Who had an affair with a bear,

But the surly old brute

With a snap of her snoot

Left him only one ball and some hair.

1927

11/7/98:

There was a young fellow of Mayence

Who fucked his own arse, in defiance

Not only of custom

And morals, dad-bust him,

But most of the known laws of science.

1949

11/8/98:

The woman who lives on the moon

Is still cherishing the balloon

Of an earthling who'd come

And given her some,

But had dribbled away all to soon,

1942

11/9/98:

There once was a man of Belfast

Whose balls out of iron were cast.

He'd managed somehow

To bugger a sow,

Thus you get pig iron, at last.

1947

11/10/98:

A person of most any nation

If afflicted with bad constipation,

Can shove a cuirass

Up the crack of his ass,

But it isn't a pleasing sensation.

1941

11/11/98:

There was an old priest of Penrang,

Wound a spiked ampallang round his whang.

When they asked, "Why'd you do it?"

The priest said, "Oh, screw it!

It's just for the young girls I bang."

1941

11/12/98:

There once was a chick less than meek,

Who wished above all to be chic.

She thought it much neater

(Not to mention discreeter)

To do it with a sheik with a "Sheik."

1942

11/13/98:

There once was a fellow named Glantz

Who on entering a toilet in France,

Was in such a heat

To paper the seat,

He shit right into his pants.

1941

11/14/98:

The grand-niece of Madame DuBarry

Suspected her son was a fairy.

"It's peculiar," said she,

"But he sits down to pee,

And stands when I bathe the canary."

1944

11/15/98:

There was a young lady named Hall

Who went to a birth-control ball.

She was loaded with pessaries

And other accessories,

But no one approached her at all.

1938

11/16/98:

There was a young lady from Ongar,

Got shagged in the sea, by a conger;

Her girlfriend from Deal

Asked, "How did it feel?"

She said, "Nice - Like a bloke - only longer!"

Contributed by
Dave P.

11/17/98:

To the shrine which was Pallas Athena's

Young Bito (who'd learned about penis)

Brought her needles and thread

And scissors and said,

"You can stick them---I'm changing to Venus!"

1942

11/18/98:

A synod of Anglican friars

Were discussing their carnal desires.

Said the priest from Tulagi,

"The Marys are baggy,

But a coconut truly inspires."

1944

11/19/98:

There was a young girl named O'Malley

Who wanted to dance in the ballet.

She got roars of applause

When she kicked off her drawers,

But her hair and her bush didn't tally.

1941

11/20/98:

There was a young lady of Alnwicke

Whom a stranger threw into a panic.

For he frigged her and fucked her,

And buggered and sucked her,

With a glee hardly short of satanic.

1941

11/21/98:

There was a young girl whose divinity

Preserved her in perfect virginity,

'Til a candle, her nemesis,

Caused parthenogenesis---

Now she thinks herself one of the Trinity.

1943

11/22/98:

A pederast living in Arles

Used to bugger the bung of a barrel,

But was heard to lament,

"In the old days I went

Up the blue-blooded bum of an earl!"

1942

11/23/98:

There was a young fellow named Thrale

Who was hardly what you could call male.

His libido wasn't channelized

So he got psychoanalyzed,

And now he can't get enough tail.

1952

11/24/98:

That naughty old Sappho of Greece

Said, "What I prefer to a piece

Is to have my pudenda

Rubbed hard by the enda

The little pink nose of my niece.

1928

11/25/98:

There was a pianist named Liszt

Who played with one hand while he pissed,

But as he grew older

His technique grew bolder,

And in concert jacked off with his fist.

1942

11/26/98:

Some night when you're drunk on Dutch Bols

Try changing the usual roles.

The backward position

Is nice for coition

And it offers the choice of two holes.

1947

11/27/98:

A young man from the banks of the Po

Found his cock had elongated so,

That when he'd pee

It was not he

But only his neighbors who'd know.

1944

11/28/98:

There was a young choirboy from Devon

Who was raped in a haystack by seven

High Anglican priests---

(Lascivious beasts)---

For of such is the kingdom of heaven

1941

11/29/98:

There was a young lady named Flynn

Who thought fornication a sin,

But when she was tight

It seemed quite all right,

So everyone filled her with gin.

1927

11/30/98:

There once was a midwife of Gaul

Who had hardly no business at all.

She cried, "Hell and damnation!

There's no procreation---

God made the French penis too small."

1941