6/1/98:

Alas for a preacher named Hoke,

Whose shit was all stuck in his poke.

He farted a blast

That left hearers aghast,

But nothing emerged but some smoke.

1941

6/2/98:
Part 1 of 2:

My wife is an amorous soul

On fire for an African's pole.

She told a coon chauffeur

That he was her gopher---

And, say, did he go for her hole!

6/3/98:
Part 2 of 2:

As he creamed my wife's cunt, the coon said,

"I could fuck this until she was dead!"

As he plugged up her trough,

I jerked myself off;

"If that's how you feel, go ahead!"

1943

6/4/98:

There was a young lady of fashion

Who had oodles and oodles of passion.

To her lover she said,

As they climbed into bed,

"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"

1942

6/5/98:

There was an old spinster of Tyre

Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!"

So a fireman was found,

Brought his engine around,

And extinguished her burning desire.

1941

6/6/98:

A proper young lady of Taos

Had her panties trimmed neatly with lace.

But a vulgar young man

Raped her roughly, and ran,

And left them pure panties in chaos.

1941

6/7/98:

There was a young lass from Hoboken

Who said that her hymen was broken

From riding a bike,

on a cobble stone pike.

In truth, it was broken from pokin'.

Contributed by
Anonymous

6/8/98:

There was an aesthetic young miss

Who thought it the apex of bliss

To jazz herself silly

With the bud of a lily,

Then go to the garden to piss!

Contributed by
Carlos L.

6/9/98:

There was a young man, name of Snyder,

Who took out a girl just to ride her.

She allowed him to feel

From her neck to her heel,

But never would let him inside her.

1943

6/10/98:

A pretty young maid from Australia

Painted her ass like a dahlia.

The colour was fine,

And so the design,

But the smell was still naturalia!

Contributed by
Billyboj

6/11/98:

Once a pirate named Yates

Danced the jig for all of his mates.

He slipped in his cutlas,

And made himself nutless,

And now he's quite useless on dates.

Contributed by
Jess Rock

6/12/98:

There once was a bishop from Nottingham

Who stood on a bridge down in Birmingham.

He watched all the stunts

Of the cunts in the punts

And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking them.

Contributed by
John H.

6/13/98:

There was a Bishop from Trawlee

Who went out into the Garden to pee.

He said "Pax Vou Biscum"

I can't make the piss come

It must be the C L A P!

Contributed by
Russell W.

6/14/98:

There was a young fellow named Malcolm

Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum.

He'd always use it

Everytime that he shit,

And found the sensation right welcome.

1942

6/15/98:

There was a young fellow named Harry,

Had a joint that was long, huge and scary.

He pressed it on a virgin

Who, without any urgin',

Immediately spread like a fairy.

1943

6/16/98:

There was a young lady named Ames

Who would play at the jolliest games.

She was great fun to lay

For her rectum would play

Obbligatos, and call you bad names.

1941

6/17/98:

Here's to old King Montezuma,

For fun he would bugger a puma.

The puma in play

Clawed both balls away---

How's that for animal humor?

1948

6/18/98:

On the plains of north-central Tibet

They've thought of the strangest thing yet:

On the ass of a camel

They pour blue enamel,

And bugger the beast while it's wet.

1944

6/19/98:

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse

Till she thought she would try sef-abuse.

In search of a hard on

She ran out in the garden,

And was had by a statue of Zeus.

1942

6/20/98:

A morbid young lady named Jean

Was known as the Masochist Queen.

She used thistles and cacti

In pursuit of her practi,

In a manner both odd and obscene.

1943

6/21/98:

There was a young girl of Peru

Who had nothing whatever to do,

So she sat on the stairs

And counted cunt hairs---

Four thousand, three hundred, and two.

1941

6/22/98:

For sculpture that's really first class

You need form, composition, and mass.

To do a good Venus

Just leave off the penis,

And concentrate all on the ass.

1947

6/23/98:

The life of a clerk of the session

Was strangled in psychic repression.

But his maladies ceased

When his penis uncreased

In straight geometric progression.

1943

6/24/98:

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck,

Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck.

By uni-on rules,

He 'ad to down tools---

Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck!

1947

6/25/98:

A fellow with love-making flair

Was licking his sweetie "down there."

He said, as some gas

Escaped from her ass,

"Thank God for a breath of fresh air!"

Contributed by
Bluebird

6/26/98:

A stingy old man of St. Giles

Saved his shillings with miserly wiles.

Just to save a few bob

He would wipe with a cob,

And that way he got piles and piles!

1941

6/27/98:

There was an old maid from Bruton

Who had the bad habit of pootin'.

Her sphincter was weak,

Her wind she couldn't keep---

This tootin' old spinster from Bruton.

1951

6/28/98:

Have you heard of young Franchot Tone

Who felt of his own peculiar bone?

It was long and quite narrow

And filled full of marrow,

And less edible than stale corn pone.

1941

6/29/98:

A company of Grenadier Guards

While traversing the park, formed in squads,

Saw two naked statues

At three-quarter pratt views,

Which perceptibly stiffened their rods.

1941

6/30/98:

There was a young man who preferred

Having sex with some kind of a bird.

The rarer the species,

And the fuller of feces,

The better---that guy really loved turd.

1951