1/1/98:

There was a young fellow named Price

Who dabbled in all sorts of vice.

He had virgins and boys

And mechanical toys,

And on Mondays... he meddled with mice!

1941

1/2/98:

A certain young lady named Rowell

Had a musical bent to her bowel.

With a good plate of beans

Tucked under her jeans

She could play To a Wild Rose by MacDowell.

1947

1/3/98:

A lecherous fellow named Babbitt

Asked a girl if she'd fuck or would nab it.

Said she, "From long habit

I fuck like a rabbit,

So I'd rather cohabit than grab it."

1941

1/4/98:

There were three ladies of Huxham,

And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,

And when that game grows stale

We sits on a rail,

And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.

1870

1/5/98:

There was an old sheik named Al Hassid

Whose tool had become very placid.

Before each injection

To get an erection

He had to immerse it in acid.

1949

1/6/98:

A certain young person of Ghent,

Uncertain if lady or gent,

Shows his organs at large

For a small handling charge

To assist him in paying the rent.

1944

1/7/98:

There was a young genius in Texas

Who could flex his own solar plexus.

It made his ding bounce,

And he caught every ounce

Of his magical spraying of sexus.

1952

1/8/98:

Said a girl being had in a shanty,

"My dear, you have got it in slanty."

He replied, "I can use

Any angle I choose.

I ride as I please---I'm Duranty!"

1939

1/9/98:

There was a young girl of La Plata

Who was widely renowned as a farter.

Her deafening reports

At the Argentine sports

Made her much in demand as a starter.

1941

1/10/98:

There was a young girl named Maxine

Who found a new use for the bean.

As a vaginal bearing

She found it long-wearing,

And it varied her fucking routine.

1941

1/11/98:

A Plumber whose name was Ten Brink

Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink.

Her resistance was stout,

And Ten Brink petered out

With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink.

1942

1/12/98:

A king sadly said to his queen,

"In parts you have grown far from lean."

"I don't give a damn,

You've always liked ham,"

She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!"

1943

1/13/98:

There was a young man of St. Paul's

Possessed the most useless of balls.

Till at last, at The Strand,

He managed a stand,

And tossed himself off in the stalls.

1879

1/14/98:

There once was a fellow named Trete

Who from birth was inclined to be neat.

He became extra fussy

When he thought his pants mussy,

And would throw them away in the street.

1939

1/15/98:

There was a young lady from Munich

Who was had in a park by a eunuch.

In a moment of passion

He shot her a ration

From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic.

1943

1/16/98:

"At a seance," said a young man named Post,

"I was being sucked off by a ghost;

Someone switched on the lights

And there in guaze tights,

On his knees, was Tobias mine host."

1948

1/17/98:

There was an old lady who lay

With her legs wide apart in the hay,

Then calling the ploughman,

She said, "Do it now, man!

Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."

1928

1/18/98:

There was a young man of Soho

Whose tastes were exceedingly low.

He said to his mother,

"Let us suck one another,

And swallow the seminal flow."

1882

1/19/98:

An opera singer named Black

Would fuck anything with a crack:

Sidewalks and board fences,

Young goats and cheese blintzes,

And the cheekiest man in his claque.

1945

1/20/98:

There's a man in the Bible portrayed

As one deeply engrossed in his trade.

He became quite elated

Over things he created,

Especially the women he made.

1945

1/21/98:

The Book of God's beneath you,

The Man of God's above you.

Salvation pole

Is in your hole---

Now wiggle your ass to save your soul.

1928

1/22/98:

'Tis polite I thought I'd be,

When visiting this site, y'see,

Sat down for some fun

But that tingle near me bum

Tells me I must get up and go pee

Contributed by
Bob Alouu

1/23/98:

There once was a man of Sag Harbor

Who used to go with a fag barber.

He gave some auditions

In many positions,

And now he plays flute with Jan Garber.

1947

1/24/98:

There was a young fellow from Lees

Who handled his tool with great ease.

This continual friction

Made his sex a mere fiction,

But the callus hangs down to his knees.

1947

1/26/98:

There once was a lady named Hix

Who was fond of sucking big pricks.

One fellow she took

Was a doctor named Snook,

Now he's in a hell of a fix.

1952

1/27/98:

"Remind me, dear," said Sir John Keith,

"As soon as I've finished my teeth,

To take down this glass

And examine my ass

From behind---and of course from beneath."

1947

1/28/98:

The bishop of Winchester Junction

Found his phallus would no longer function.

So in black crepe he wound it,

Tied a lily around it,

And solemnly gave it last unction.

1941

1/29/98:

The sex of the asteroid vermin

Is exceedingly hard to determine.

The galactic patrol

Simply fucks any hole

That will possibly let all the sperm in.

1944

1/30/98:

An earnest young woman in Thrace

Said, "Darling, that's not the right place!"

So he gave her a thwack,

And did on her back

What he couldn't have done face to face.

1942

1/31/98:

The nephew of one of the czars

Used to suck off Rasputin at Yars,

Till the peasants revolted,

The royal family bolted---

Now they're under the sickle and stars.

1952