11/1/97:
Part 1 of 3

There was a young fellow named Fyfe

Whose marriage was ruined for life,

For he had an aversion

To every perversion,

And only liked fucking his wife.

11/2/97:
Part 2 of 3

Well, one year the poor woman struck,

And she wept, and she cursed at her luck,

And said, "Where have you gotten us

With your goddamn monotonous

Fuck after fuck after fuck?"

11/3/97:
Part 3 of 3

"I once knew a harlot named Sue---

And a versatile girl she was, too.

After ten years of whoredom

She perished of boredom

When she married a jackass like you!"

1938

11/4/97:

Here's to it, and through it, and to it again,

To suck it, and screw it, and screw it again!

So in with it, out with it,

Lord work his will with it!

Never a day we don't do it again!

1880

11/5/97:

There was a young girl from New York

Who diddled herself with a cork.

It stuck in her vagina---

Can you imagina

Prying it out with a fork!

1938

11/6/97:

There was a young girl named Miss Randall

Who thought it beneath her to handle

A young fellow's pole,

So instead, her hot hole

She contented by means of a candle.

1947

11/7/97:

There was a young man from Saskatchewan

Whose pecker was truly gargantuan.

It was good for large whores,

And small dinosaurs,

And sufficiently rough to scratch a match upon.

1952

11/8/97:
Part 1 of 2

Said Einstein, "I have an equation

Which science might call Rabelaisian.

Let P be virginity

Approaching infinity,

And U be a constant, persuasion."

11/9/97:
Part 2 of 2

"Now if P over U be inverted

And the squarre root of U be inserted

X times over P,

The result, Q.E.D.

Is a relative," Einstein asserted.

1947

11/10/97:

A Roman of old named Horatio

Was fond of a form of fellatio.

He kept accurate track

Of the boys he'd attack,

And called it his cock-suching ratio.

1943

11/11/97:

Oden the bardling averred

His muse was the bum of a bird,

And his lesbian wife

Would finger his fife

While Fisherwood waited as third.

1942

11/12/97:

There was a young man from Salinas

Who had an extremely long penis:

Believe it or not,

When he lay on his cot

It reached from Marin to Martinez.

1942

11/13/97:

There was a young fellow of Burma

Whose betrothed had good reason to murmur.

But now that he's married he's

Been using cantharides

And the root of their love is much firmer.

1939

11/14/97:
Part 1 of 2

There once was a clergyman's daughter

Who detested the pony he bought her

Till she found that its dong

Was as hard and as long

As the prayers her father had taught her.

11/15/97:
Part 2 of 2

She married a fellow named Tony

Who soon found her fucking the pony.

Said he, "What's it got,

My dear, that I've not?"

Sighed she, "Just a yard-long bologna."

1941

11/16/97:

There was a young man of Arras

Who stretched himself out on the grass,

And with no little trouble

He bent himself double

And stuck his prick well up his ass.

1941

11/17/97:

A pretty wife living in Tours

Demanded her daily amour.

But the husband said, "No!

It's too much. Let it go!

My backsides are dragging the floor."

1942

11/18/97:

There was a young man of Provence

Whose bollocks were simply immense.

"They're an excellent float

In a bathtub or boat,

But," said he, "what a bore when I yentz."

1952

11/19/97:

There is a young fellow from Leeds

Whose skin is so thin his cock bleeds

Whenever erect,

This dermal defect

Often scares him from sowing his seeds.

1947

11/20/97:

A bus-man named Abner McFuss

Liked to suck off small boys on his bus,

Then go out and sniff turds

And the assholes of birds---

He sure was a funny old cuss.

1941

11/21/97:

There was an eccentric from Mecca

Who discovered a record from Decca,

Which he twirled on his thumb

(These eccentrics are dumb)

While he needled the disc with his pecca.

1951

11/22/97:
Part 1 of 3

There was a young lady of Natchez

Who chanced to be born with two snatches,

And she often said, "Shit!

Why, I'd give either tit

For a man with equipment that matches."

11/23/97:
Part 2 of 3

There was a young fellow named Locke

Who was born with a two-headed cock.

When he'd fondle the thing

It would rise up and sing

An antiphonal chorus by Bach.

11/24/97:
Part 3 of 3

But whether these two ever met

Has not been recorded as yet,

Still, it would be diverting

To see him inserting

His whang while it sang a duet.

1939

11/25/97:

In a meadow a man named Llewellyn

Had a dream he was bundling with Helen.

When he woke he discovered

A bull had him covered

With ballocks as big as a melon.

1942

11/26/97:

There once was a Hooker named Sue

Who filled her vagina with glue

She said with a grin

If they paid to get in

They'll pay to get out of it too!

Contributed by
Chris Sledge

11/27/97:

The prior of Dunstan St. Just,

Consumed with erotical lust,

Raped the bishop's prize fowls,

Buggered four startled owls

And a little green lizard that bust.

1948

11/28/97:

A lecherous Northumbrian druid,

Whose mind was filthy and lewd,

Awoke from a trance

With his hand in his pants

On a lump of pre-seminal fluid.

1945

11/29/97:

There was a young man of Peru

Who dreamt he was had by a Jew.

He woke up at night

In a hell of a fright,

And found it was perfectly true.

1928

11/30/97:

There was a young lady of Dee

Who went down to the river to pee.

A man in a punt

Put his hand on her cunt,

And God! how I wish it was me.

1870