3/1/00:

This lady, without any class,

Made music come out of her ass.

It wasn't enough

Farting lieder and stuff,

But Ave Maria, at Mass?

Contributed by
B. Griffin B.

3/2/00:

An ice hockey star named Gilpatrick

Set his sights on scoring a "hat trick."

He went into the stands

And clobbered three fans

With the end of his stick... Now how's that trick!

Contributed by
B. Griffin B.

3/3/00:

A busty young lass from Khartoum

Had one huge, enormous bazoom.

Upon her demise,

Because of its size,

They built a pyramidal tomb.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/4/00:

An adulterous knave was quite vicious

When he thought his wife very pernicious.

He came home too early

And really got surly

When he caught her in flagrante delicious.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/5/00:

There once was a man from Cleves,

Who swallowed a packet of seeds.

In half of an hour,

His dick was a flower,

And his ass was a bundle of weeds.

Contributed by
Neal L.

3/6/00:

There once was a woman from Nam

Who was always riding the tram.

But one day the conductor

Stripped her and fucked her,

And now she is pushing a pram.

Contributed by
Matt P.

3/7/00:

In the Garden of Eden stood Adam

Stroking the quiff of his madam;

And he quivered with mirth

For he knew that on Earth

There were only two balls, and he had 'em.

Contributed by
Peter B.

3/8/00:

There was a young woman named Flo

Who was constantly on the go.

Till she caught a disease

That buckled her knees

And now we know Flo is a 'ho'.

Contributed by
Linda L.

3/9/00:

Of his lady, he was quite enchanted.

Of her good points, he frequently ranted.

But of many God's gifts,

Were her wonderful tits,

But really, they were only implanted.

Contributed by
KAMS

3/10/00:

In the south there lives a young minx,

Who wears only her smile and winks.

When it's hot it's okay

To go out dressed that way,

Or, at least, that's what she thinks.

Contributed by
KAMS

3/11/00:

When out with a girl give her shandy,

It’s perfect for making her randy.

But when I get back

To my little shack,

Thank God I have got my best brandy!

Contributed by
Archie

3/12/00:

There was a young girl from Madrid

Who claimed she'd never been rid!

Until along came an Italian

With balls like a stallion

and rode her like Billy the Kid!

Contributed by
Archie

3/13/00:

There once was a lady from Spain,

Who enjoyed sex every now and again,

Not.. now and again

Like..now and again,

But, NOW! ...and AGAIN!! ...and AGAIN!!!

Contributed by
Paul and Nancie Y.

3/14/00:

There once was a lady called Vicki,

She got lucky and went for a quickie,

Pressed up by a wall,

She got pregnant n'all,

She now has a baby called Nicki.

Contributed by
Vicki S.

3/15/00:

An oversexed young man named Hugh,

On the lookout for something to do,

Was heard to remark,

"If I had an ark,

I"d screw a young ewe or two."

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/16/00:

A strapping young fellow named Herman

Had a ring round his prick that was permanent.

All the old docs

Said the ring was the pox,

But he swore it was lipstick or vermin.

1941

3/17/00:

His neighbors would shout, "Hello, Dali!"

Whenever he'd eat some tomalley.

He'd share his steamed lobster

With a Mafia mobster,

And then spend the night with his collie.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/18/00:

There once was a young man of Cuba,

Who buggered himself with a tuba.

Impaled on the horn,

He looked most forlorn

Regretting he'd not used a goober.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/19/00:

The jumper remained quite aloof,

Gazing down on the crowd from the roof:

"Should I try suicide

Or just go and hide,

And pretend it was only a spoof?"

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/20/00:

There once was a girl from Point Loma,

Who gave off a revolting aroma.

The mephitic stench

Of that odorous wench

Would send men off into a coma.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/21/00:

A gourmet with a ginormous tool

Liked to stick it in pasta fazool.

It made him feel macho

To come on a nacho,

And he used it for stirring his gruel.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/22/00:

Proctologists meeting en masse

Agree in extolling the ass:

"It may be a monkey's

Or even a donkey's,

But if it's an ass, it's got class!"

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/23/00:

A Scotsman I know loves his kippers

If they've spent overnight in his slippers.

But he's equally taken

By rashesr of bacon

When served on the bellies of Strippers.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/24/00:

There was a young lady, Ann Heiser,

Who said no man could suprise her.

But Pabst took a chance,

Found a Schlitz in her pants,

And now she is sadder Budweiser.

Contributed by
Bill F.

3/25/00:

I knew I was taking a chance

When I asked a cheerleader to dance.

She shook her pom-poms

To beats of tom-toms;

I thought she had ants in her pants.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/26/00:

A young lady chewing a mango

While dancing a sexy Fandango

Did a hot hootchy-kootchy

In a dress done by Pucci

And finished up doing a tango.

Contributed by
Laurence U.

3/27/00:

A mathematician named Hall

Has a hexahedronical ball.

The cube of it's weight,

Times his pecker, plus eight,

Is his phone number, give him a call.

Contributed by
Peter

3/28/00:

A fearless young spermatozoa

Remarked to an ovum, "Helloa!

We'd make a cute fetus,

But I fear she'd mistreat us---

By the smell of this place, she's a whoah."

1941

3/29/00:

There was a young girl of Kilkenny

On whose genital parts there were many

Venereal growths---

The result of wild oats

Sown there by a fellow named Benny.

1946

3/30/00:

Mike told his fat wife all the time

To stop eating and tow the line.

"Don't be a dumb fuck.

You're as big as my truck.

Now you'll have to wear a WIDE LOAD sign!"

Contributed by
Joanne

3/31/00:

Exclaimed a young girl in Kildare,

As her lover's jock towered in air,

"If that goes in me I

Shall certainly die---

As I shall if it does NOT go there."

1942